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There are many highs and lows of adjustment in adoption. In order to address the complexities, Nicole Story is finishing a book on the subject for publication.

“Postpartum Depression” of Adoptive Parents

The Disillusionment of Adoption & a Path tO Normalcy


Table of Contents


Chapter 1. The Disillusionment of the Adoptive Child: When the Honeymoon/Wedding Ends

Chapter 1b. What is Normalcy: Development Approriateness

Chapter 2. Oxytocin – The Bonding/Anti-Anxiety Hormone

Chapter 3. Reactive Attachment Disorder/RADS & Boderline Personality – What are they? Can the Traumatized/Wounded Child Heal?

Chapter 4. The Brain can be Re-Wired: Corrective Emotional Experiences to Foster Healthy Attachment Bonds

Chapter 5. Developmental Stages & Defiance of Adolescence: How to Create a Healthy Attachment Bond with an Individuating Teen/Tween

Chapter 6. The Couple Bubble: Avoiding Harmful Triangulation with your Child and Spouse

Chapter 7. Attachment Style of the Parents: How Previous Emotionally Abusive Relationships can impact the Parents’ Attachment Styles. Can the Adoptive Mother Attach?

Chapter 8. Psychodynamics: Unconscious Defense Mechanisms and How to Recognize Them

Chapter 9.Transference from the Parents’ Family Dynamics: Why a Family Systems Approach to Treatment?

Chapter 10. Triggers: Neurological Ambassadors vs Warriors – Navigating Personal Triggers/Your Child’s Triggers

Chapter 11. Two Worlds Collide: The Coming Together of Two or More Cultures - Assimilation vs Acculturation

Chapter 12. Neurolinguistic Programming and Self-Fulfilling Prophecies

Chapter 13. Neuroscience of the Adoptive Child – How to Correct Behaviors without Punishment using a Neuro-Emotionally focused approach

Chapter 14. Fixed Mindset vs. Growth Mindset of Child/Brain Development: Pathologizing vs Insight

Chapter 14b. The Humanist Approach (your child is doing the best he/she can at this given time with mal-adaptive learned coping strategies)

Chapter 15. Love Sense: All Humans Require Affection, Love and Stability to be Healthy – Maslow's Monkey and the Wire Mother

Chapter 16. Building Love Maps - The Road to Healthy Attachment

Chapter 16b. How Do I Know I am Loved? Speaking the same Love Language

Chapter 17. Living with Intensity: Understanding the Sensitivity, Excitability, Reactivity and Emotional Development of Adopted Children

Chapter 18. All Children are Gifted: Finding the Strengths and Positive Traits in Your Child

Chapter 19. Communication: Avoiding the Four Horsemen of Gottman’s Relationship Apocalypse – Contempt; Resentment; Stonewalling; and Criticism

Chapter 20. Handling Neighbors, Family, Friends and Society

List of Tables

List of Profiles


About the Author

About the Author

Nicole Story, EDS, MED, LMFT, LMHC is a Psychotherapist and the Clinical Director of Oceanside Family Therapy & Assessments, in Jacksonville Beach, Florida. There she has provided clinical and licensure supervision for Master’s and Doctorate level staff of numerous local agencies including: YCC/Youth Crisis Center; Family Foundations; Camelot Behavioral Care; Breakthroughs; River Region; Naval Hospital Jacksonville; Veterans’ Affairs Jacksonville; and Daniel Kids Inc.

She also served as the Clinical Administrator of a dual diagnosis adolescent residential facility and numerous adolescent out-patient programs. With over 16 years of pediatric psychotherapy and intensive family therapy; she continues to train clinicians in best practice approaches for complex and difficult cases.

With an undergraduate degree from Rollins College in *Cultural Psychology and graduate degrees in Mental Health and Family Therapy from the University of Florida, her post-master’s Specialist’s degree is equivalent to a doctorate of psychology/PsyD, which is a terminal clinical degree in the field. She has lectured at numerous workshops for psychotherapy and taught as an adjunct at Florida State College Santa Fe, in Gainesville, Florida. Trained in both intrapsychic mental health and family systems she holds two licenses with the Florida Department of Health Medical Quality Assurance and is a Qualified Clinical Supervisor for both.

President Emeritus of NEFAMFT, the Northeast Florida chapter of AAMFT (American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy) Nicole has served in several leadership roles in the field of family therapy and school based mental health programs including President of the Beaches Resource Center Foundation. Active in the community she is a clinical member of the Florida Association of Infant Mental Health; the Theraplay Institute; the APA (American Psychological Association) and serves on the SAC committee of Seaside Community Charter School. She has also been called as an expert witness in Federal, State, Immigration and Family Courts.

Starting out in the field 18 years ago, she worked with the indigent and chronically mentally ill populations and DCF/court ordered patients at Meridian Behavioral Services; The Child Guidance Center; and Hope Haven Child and Family Clinic. Watching how old school theories and behavioral/punishment approaches were harming clients she accrued an insightful, comprehensive and intelligent approach to working with attachment disorders and parenting.

Originally from Ireland and married for 17 years, she and her husband have two wonderful, gifted and spirited children.

*Cultural Psychology is an Area Studies major incorporating psychology, anthropology, 3 foreign languages and a humanistic photojournalistic thesis on “Deviant Youth Culture in US Society.”

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